New Symbolism

What is a body but a vessel?

To be decorated

Adorned

To store sacred things

To be tattooed - that is - to take the inexpressible, make it visual and mark a body for life. These marks change as the body changes: fading, spreading, becoming buried under layers, falling out of style. We age together.

I felt the need to be covered before I even had language for it. I remember talking to an ex-love while I stared at my naked body in the mirror at an old apartment.

"I feel so disconnected- like I see my body and I know its mine. But its never felt like it belonged to me."

Something about a pain ritual - walking into a tattoo shop with loud music and designs on the walls from floor to ceiling, the smell of green soap and dettol, laying down on a massage table and walking out wrapped in plastic wrap - made my body feel more like mine. Piece by piece. 

Tattoo on Bea, 2019

When I’m getting tattooed I feel so connected to my body. The dysphoria I’ve experienced almost every day since puberty fades away. I recognize myself in the mirror by my tattoos. I look up to generations of butch dykes that found embodiment in the same way.

I would talk about dysphoria often to an ex-love who could relate. But they said it wasn't as much of a gender thing for them- this feeling disconnected. For them it was having a soul be trapped inside this mortal body. Tattooing helped with this kind of discomfort too.

“Tattoo is one way of reassuring, or reinforcing, the ego under pressure. It provides an expanded, alternative, volitional identity: one can come to terms with the psychic constraints of the slot(s) one occupies in society.” 

-Cliff Raven

It is consensual commitment- knowing your limits - how much pain you can endure - feeling grounded - knowing your autonomous power. These are a few of the lessons that tattooing has given me.

I'm obsessed with the stories told in tattoo shops - I want to record these stories and conversations. There's so much to learn about life from tattooing.

I'm not sure what I'll do with this blog! But I'm excited to find out. Thank you for being here.

-Sema

Bodies! What a powerful medium.

To empower. What a worthwhile task.