March 2019
With quotes from Audre Lorde and Solomon
“TO WHOM DO I OWE THE SYMBOLS OF MY SURVIVAL”
Do you believe in the transformative power of an image emblazoned permanently into the flesh? Passed from one to another? A moment transferred? A moment distilled?
Do you believe in symbolism as protection? If it is possible to protect you; Can my own vulnerability function as that shield?
Im sorry for the times I wasn't able to be what you needed me to be. Lord knows I tried. But you know I could have tried harder.
Forgive me for not saying enough. I had the words but they got lost in the delivery. I wrote you a prayer but I left out the most important part.
This symbol will protect you from your darkest thoughts. The spiral that is sometimes so hard to escape. The demons within. The endless wheel that spins doubt, fear and the bleeding wound of loss.
Do you take time every day to thank your outside shell? The fearsome cloak that fools people into thinking you're stronger than you are?
This image will decorate that outer wall, and pierce your defenses just enough to show anyone who dares to look that at one point you experienced what the rest of us know as pain.
I wonder if you ever question yourself the way I do. Once you said that I was a test to see if you could love yourself enough to accept the love I had to give.
My love is transformative. The thorn I placed in your side that left its mark. Transformation is my gospel truth - the only constant there is to cling to. And these changes will cling to you.
Who do we think we are to mark creation? To alter our own course? To speed up our learning? To declare ourselves healed? To decide we are finished?
Not everything is about heartbreak. Some of these symbols could be interpreted to be about heartbreak. But most of them try to speak to the feeling that floods in when the pain stops. Reminders that it doesn't have to be this way.
This marking will remind you that you have the capacity to endure. That if you can last these few hours the reward is yours. The prize lasts as long as you do.
How many layers make up a self? How eager are you to cover the marks that Ive made? Before we met I was bare. How eager are you to cover another?
This symbol will remind you of the youth we shared. Racing to cover ourselves once we realized we were naked. Do you ever wish you didn't know?
We often bleed but never heal the same way.
True healing takes patience and its a lesson I’m still learning.
The lines that make up this symbol are deep and dark and will only grow with age. You couldn’t wash it away if you tried. My love for you learned from these lines.
I tell you there is a path forward.
It is beautiful beyond belief but I've never seen it. If I could predict the future I would mark it on you forever.
"What has been, will be again, what has been done, will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun."