An Incomplete History of Trans Immortality by Zeyn Joukhadar

Sharing this because its one of my favorite things I’ve read in the past few weeks.

I’m so drawn to Zeyn’s work for the obvious reasons - we’re both transexual Syrians living and making work in diaspora. His existance alone would be enough for me. But this piece of his writing speaks to my soul in ways that go beyond our shared identities. He is speaking to transness as part of a lineage that goes beyond our understanding of time.

Zeyn writes “Terrible things happen all the time, I assure you, of which most of us know nothing. My question is what we do with unanswered prayers?”

“What do I do with the past selves who live in this body that slips through time?”

questions that I’ve asked myself without the words to formulate the question

“The body was a door for the sacred.”

and

“If what Ibn ‘Arabi says is true, then I possess immortality—like eternity—in this very moment, in my very body. Listen: I am trying to arrive at the miracle by the door of my trans flesh. I will not believe them when they write that I am dead.”

the final quote that has stuck with me

“I can’t pluck my past selves from the rack of pain, just as I will never know most of the trans siblings who were afforded no miracles. I came back for myself, as we come for each other.”

You can read the full article here: https://electricliterature.com/my-transition-will-never-be-finished/