“Modeled after the self portrait “Future Plans” by Don Ed Hardy this piece pays homage to one of my artistic heroes while helping me to imagine myself post operation after top surgery, a gender affirming surgery. I pose confidently in spite of insecurities I’ve faced in both my career and my own body. “
Sema Dayoub 2019
Don Ed Hardy, 1967
Three years ago I drew myself - when I first seriously started planning for top surgery. I wanted to know what I would look like. I spent years imagining it but it was something else to actually draw it out. Literally manifest. I modeled the drawing after one of my heroes in - Don Ed Hardy. He drew his “Future Plan's” when he was planning on leaving art school to pursue a career in tattooing. It meant something totally different at the time and he only had one or two tattoos - nothing like the manifestation of his future self.
Today I’m writing on the other side of my future plans. Yesterday I got the surgery I had been dreaming of. I’ve been saving up and doing research for years- convincing myself I’m worthy of doing what I needed to do to feel free in my body. I’ve wanted this for so long. And now I have it. I still have a few months of healing left. But this kind of joy is something you can’t really explain. I look at my now flat chest in the mirror and it just feels so right.
I’ve written a lot about how tattoos have helped me feel more in my body. And I don’t think I would have gotten to the place of actually pursuing surgery if I hadn’t experienced the agency over my body that tattooing has provided. I’m forever grateful for this surgery. Forever grateful for trans elders and trans community around me - showing me that another way is possible. And I’m forever grateful for tattooing.